Wednesday, October 12, 2011


It was October 2001 and my heart had been shattered. The love of my life had decided he couldn't be with me anymore because he couldn't take me out with his brother and friends...I don't drink or smoke and they make fun of me. So it was all my fault for the breakup. I would never love again.....

Ok, little harsh but that is how I felt until January 2002. My sister told me that her husband's cousin, Jamie, has asked about me over Christmas. Jamie...Jamie...oh yes I meet him in '97 when my sister was trying to play match maker. He was a nice guy and I needed to get over the jerk so I told her to have him call me. A few weeks later, I get a call from a guy asking me if I knew that was my handle on (which I only did as a joke). I was a little nervous but I said yes...then the guy says Well this is Jamie and you were sent to me as a match. What! lol Small world. So after about 4 hours of talking on the phone, we decided to make a date. On February 12, 2002, Jamie and I had our first date. We just drove around talking then went to my sister's to play some cards then we drove around some more. On the way back to my car, we were talking and I asked him what he was thinking. He said "Your hand", I said "my hand?" and stretched it out...then something amazing happened, he held it and I literally had sparks to run through my body and tears in my eyes. He later told me, he felt it too. We didn't let go of each other's hand the rest of the drive. I was on cloud nine after that at first sight, no, but with that one touch, I was in love and knew it was something special.

Two weeks later we were ring shopping...yes weeks, not months or years. He bought my ring on March 23, 2002. I had an idea he had gotten it but had no idea when he would propose. Well, ok I had an idea when he asked my parents if I could go to Cancun, Mexico with him and his sister in June. I was excited when they said yes!! So June rolls around and I am nervous! We spend a couple of days enjoying the country and just having fun. Then June 26th, 8:00a.m., the moment I dreamed of my whole life happened...the love of my life PROPOSED! Nothing fancy since he had gotten 3rd degree burn the day before and we had had an arguement the night before. But he sat down on the bed, put his arm around me and asked if I still loved him and wanted to marry him. I said yes. Then he asked me what time it was so I turned to my right to look at the clock but only see the ring, MY ring, on his finger! I then said "aren't supposed to do something?", he said "I thought I just did." lol I said "no put it on my finger!" I WAS ENGAGED!!! Of course I had to call my mom, which she knew was going to happen! Oddly enough she warned me that we better not get married in Cancun...apparently everyone thought we would elope.

We decided, ok I decided, that I didn't want a long engagement! lol So we picked September 28th to wed at the TN Army National Guard Armory where Jamie worked. It had a big tree outside near a pond that would be perfect for the outside wedding I dreamed of. Well, something came up and we couldn't have September 28th so we had to move it back two weeks to October 12th. No biggie! I was getting married!!! My sister was my only bridemaid since I wanted a simple wedding. She went with me to pick out my dress at David's Bridal in Memphis, TN. I wanted a straight plain dress...she wanted puffy! She begged me to try on a puffy dress, I relectually did....and bought the puffy dress. I was a princess and who could argue with that!

October 12th could not arrive fast enough for me but when it did, I wasn't scared or worried, I was excited! Although the drizzle caused us to move the wedding indoors at the last minute, I was ok with that. I was getting married! It was the most beautiful wedding ever. We were MARRIED! I was so happy!

After the wedding, we were hungry since we didn't get any of the food because of taking pictures...what happened to saving the groom and bride some food? So where did we go, Krystal's. lol We went home, OUR home and crashed. We were so tired! I ended up waking up about 2am with leg cramps so I was laying in the living room floor with my legs up on the couch when Jamie woke up. His legs were hurting too so we found a movie on TV and just cuddled on the couch. We decided to go ahead and get ready to hit the road to Destin, FL. We had a great road trip, no fighting, though he laughed at my technique of reading a map. We had a great honeymoon in FL. Though my new husband tried to kill me on the jet ski and a pool of string rays. lol

The first few months of marriage was amazing! Then comes February 2003...USA was about to go to war and they were not only using the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, they were using the National Guard divisions too. Jamie had to help with getting units ready to deploy. He came home one night and said that a unit was short on some MOs, that he had...I asked if he had to go, he said yes. I asked if I could go with him, he said no...I cried. This was a Sunday night, Thursday morning, I was driving him in the snow to leave with his unit. I am not sure how I made it to my mom's since I was crying. Luckily, he got to stay at his base for longer than planned due to changes in his mission so I got to go visit on the weekends. Two months later, I got the call that he was leaving out in 48 hours! I drove as fast as I could to be with fast I got a speeding ticket...darn trooper. I again cried all the way home..God took the wheel for me. My husband of 6 months was going to war!

We got to chat via MSN Messenger but of course it was early morning my time. I slept in the computer room floor with the speakers turned up so I could hear when he came on. We chatted for an hour or so then I would sleep another hour or so before I had to get up for work. It was a long hard 10 months...his mission was cut short than most so he got to come home in December 2003. Never in my life had I been so happy to see a plane...the guy over the intercom said "Ladies, your bird is arriving", the most precious words I had heard.

We got our second honeymoon I guess. We bought a house in February 2004, became parents to two precious dogs, Thelma and Louise....then parents to Larry our cat. We went on a cruise to the Carribbean in June 2004. But the biggest thing in 2004 was our decision to start a family. Me, being the researcher, started taking my temps, checking for Ovaluation, etc. After a year of trying and nothing, I went to see my OB/GYN. She put me on Clomid for 3 months...nothing, so she sent me to a specialist to get my tubes checked. I look we are trying again. Another year goes by, no kid. So we go see a RE in Nashville...after months of testing, we are told we can't have kids. What! I was upset but I had came to the realization that we might not be able to so I was prepared for the news. So we decided in December 2006 to start the classes to be Foster Parents. We completed our class and were approved in March 2007. We got several calls to be on stand by but nothing happened. Finally we decided we were happy to have our now 7 furbabies and that was all we needed. Then comes March 2008. We get a call about an 11 day old baby that was left at the hospital. We were told that they were 99% sure we could adopt her. We were excited! We went to the hospital to visit the child, whom we decided to call Chloe. It was the most precious 3 hours visit. Jamie printed off the pictures we took and showed them off. However, the very next day we get a call and was told that a family member changed their mind and they wanted the baby. So were lost our child....we were angry, hurt, sad...

And not only did we find out we weren't going to be parents, we found out Jamie was going to deploy again in August 2008 for a year. So needless to say, I was heartbroken twice over.

May 20, 2008 I get a call from DCS again about a child that might be coming into custody wanted us to pray about if we would take her in. Jamie said no but since he would be deployed, he said it was my decision. So on May 22nd, I called DCS and said if the child needed a home, we would give it to her. She was a preemie, born at 29 weeks with some breathing issues so we had to go to the hospital to learn how to feed her and take care of her plus how to use the monitor for her sleep apena. On May 23, we saw the most precious little girl in the whole world. I was in love the moment I saw her...and Jamie will admit he was too. For the next 3 weeks, I drove to visit her every night after work. On June 13th, Jamie's birthday, we brought her home from the NICU. We were in Heaven. She was too precious. What happened next is in this blog as we, I, dealt with the bio parents. But in the end, Ashlee Marie became a Spicer on April 17th, 2009, a day before her first birthday. I could not imagine her not being in my life. Jamie calls her my Mini Me because she looks like me when I was little and she follows me around everywhere. I love her so much.

And in case you don't want to read all the old posts..Jamie left on August 3rd, 2008 for Iraq. He got his R&R during her birthday so he was here for the adoption. He came home July 30th, 2009!

Life was pretty normal after that, just enjoying Jamie being home and Ashlee growing like a weed. Then comes June 2010...Jamie gets an offer in Smyrna, TN...4 hours away. Now that is not real far but I am from a big family, a close family so 4 hours is FAR AWAY! But I felt God was telling me that the move was right. So I told him, if he wanted to take the job, we would move. He started his new job on August 2nd, 2010. I was home alone again. It was fine until August 10th when I found my beloved Thelma dead. I fell in the floor crying. When I called Jamie to tell him, he could not understand me but finally got what I was saying. He drove the 4 hours home so he could bury her. Ashlee, luckily, had been at my mom's so she stayed there for the night. Jamie got home at midnight and at 6am, we were burying Thelma. Oh how I miss her! Mommy loves you Thelma!

After 3 months of looking at houses, we finally found our home. So on October 3rd, we made our offer and on November 12th, we moved to Smyrna....I love it here!

Life is never easy but with the ones you love beside you, it is brighter. I love Jamie so much. He is my best friend, my lover, and my hero. I am so proud of him for being the great Soldier he is and the wonderful father to Ashlee. I love Ashlee more than words can say. She is my world. I could not imagine my life without either one of them and I thank God every day for my family...Jamie, Ashlee, Louise, Charlie, Larry, Sam, Rescue and Mr. Eko...and my sweet Thelma, I will always love you!